Absurd Ideas: Vol. 2

Anti-trust funds, group chat for collective sighs, and more.

A lot of you subscribed for more absurd ideas (welcome!). So let’s get to it.

Absurd Ideas: Vol. 2, straight from my notes app:

• Fashion influencer boxing league

• Noise-cancelling pillows

• Audiobook “still listening?” quiz

• Kinko’s live-tweeting copy machine prints

• Lower cost streaming plan with binge surcharges

• Extreme storms named after historical villains

• Melting icecap live-streams

• National memorial for lost AirPods

• Roomba fire extinguishers

• Group chat for collective sighs

• Marie Kondo for friends you’ve outgrown

• Anti-trust funds where family bets against you

• Clothing design for furniture

However dumb, ideas don’t just appear out of nowhere. So I thought I’d give the backstory of one (let me know if this should be a recurring bit). This one started during Fashion Week in New York, when I couldn’t help noticing how accessorized everything was.

Bags with charms. Phones with straps. Water bottles with sleeves. Sunglasses with piercings. On the subway home, I sat next to someone wearing four belts. Then I walked into my apartment and realized my furniture was… naked. We accessorize shelves, walls, and countertops without thinking, but not much else.

Seems unfair the flat surfaces get all the attention. So: clothing for furniture. Out of boredom at my studio I gave a chair sneakers, as if to help it stop sitting and finally take a walk. Next might be a crop top for the coat stand, or a tailored vest for my desk chair (severely underdressed for years).

Anyway, I’ll see you in Volume 3.